Why I choose to recover.

I never thought it was possible in the beginning.

When I was so consumed by the eating disorder, I thought it would kill me.

The screaming voice in my head...the constant weighing.
Always trying to figure out what was 'right' to eat.

It tormented me for so long.

I choose to recover so I can try to regain the parts of me that I lost.

I want to be there more for my nieces and nephew.

I want to stop obsessing over what I eat, over a stupid number on a scale.

I know I am NOT a number. I am a person.

By seperating these two things, I am able to see it is for what it is.

I have been able to, for the most part, see the lies that made me believe they were the truth.

I am not fat or ugly. The size I wear, does not make me who I am.

The mirror lies.

I want to be better so I can live.

So I can try to enjoy things more, and not fear doing things, in case food is involved.

I want to put my energy into healthier things..so I can work towards better things in life.

I want to feel better about myself..not so tired...not have my hair fall out, or be cold all the time.

And the main thing is...I want to make a difference to someone in this world, by sharing my story.

I want to be an inspiration to others..especially my own nieces and nephew.

You don't have to go through this alone. There is someone right here, who understands what it's like.