I have had my share of difficulties in life, as many others have.
I am not comfortable sharing the exact details, so I'll share only what needs to be.

By the time I was 17, I had been on several medications,and in the hospital several times.

One medication, Zyprexa (Olanzapine) was given to me at 16. It was one of many I had tried to rid me of the horrible darkness that surrounded me..and yet, another that failed to give me any relief.

I had no previous issues with my body or food, until that medication.

I had gained 24lbs. in 6 weeks...not normal weight either. My body was horribly swollen, and I do not remember hardly any of the time I was on that. *NOTE* NOT everyone has this with this medication. Most do, but it is also being used to treat anorexia and is successful with severely underweight individuals.

My eating disorder started almost as soon as i was out of the hospital for a one month psych assessment.

Automatically, I just started restricting, not even realizing what I was doing.

I got back to a normal weight, but still saw myself at my heavy weight.

I didn't believe it was a problem, until I realized, 3 yrs. later, I couldn't just eat normal and be okay.

It has never been fun..it has never been a 'game'. It has been HELL.

Now I am trying to overcome this, to live the life I deserve.

I wasted too many years trying to find myself through a disorder that did nothing but kill any part of me I had left.